


Amalgam

by Shay_Nioum



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fusions, M/M, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-22
Packaged: 2019-06-28 14:34:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15709182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay_Nioum/pseuds/Shay_Nioum
Summary: Deceit never knew about fusions, and Deceit had never known that it was possible for two sides to be even closer than being in a relationship. That was about to change, it changed the moment that a man with a pink tie and glasses offered him his hand.





	1. Chapter 1

The day was going absolutely  _ great _ .

Or in the very least that was what Deceit would have told anyone who even bothered asked him how he was doing, the truth though...was that he couldn’t have been feeling less great. Despite the obvious evidence of how he was truly doing he’d ended up shying away from the living room and kitchen, the last thing he wanted to deal with now was the other sides that would constantly pester him with suspicious questions about what he was doing and just what he was up to. Today of all days he couldn’t bear to see and feel their accusatory glares burning into him, he couldn’t stand to feel the hate pouring off of each of them. 

He just couldn’t do it today. 

His fingers instinctively scratched at the patch of scales on his cheeks as he finally found a nice and quiet spot to settle down for the time being. His knees scrunched up to his chest as he rested his chin on his knees, pressing his back to the wall of the closet he found himself in Deceit found himself gripping the fabric of his pants as he finally let it all out. 

_ I’m alone, I’m so alone.  _ Just admitting it felt like admitting a defeat in Deceit’s eyes, but even so, he couldn’t help but to feel defeated. Not when it was so clear that he never stood a chance in the first place. 

The harsh shuddering sobs the wracked his form made him jerk and quiver as he scrunched himself up until he was smaller and smaller, to the point of where he had practically curled up into a ball. Burying his face into his knees, he felt the tears stain his pants, and even then he couldn’t tell himself to stop. He, in all honesty, didn’t want to stop, for the first time he felt that he could release his emotions without anyone picking them out and mocking him for them. There were no dark sides here to make fun of him, and there were no light sides to glare and scowl at him. At this moment, the closet that hid his shame felt more like home than he could have ever imagined. 

It was just a shame that it had to be ruined. 

_ Tap. Tap. Tap. _

Deceit’s head jerked up in alarm at the feathery taps on the door, and all it took was that simple knock for him to realize that whoever was on the other side knew that he was there. And just like that, a great well of dread and horror swelled up inside of him, his body went numb just as his hands started to shake and tremble even worse than they had before. The tears that had wet his face, came down even faster. He’d been found, and who was to say that whoever was on the other side would be friendly. 

“Rat-a-tat-tat!” The chipper voice on the other side of the door chirped out, and it was with that one little phrase, that Deceit felt his fear almost immediately be replaced with a mixture of confusion and the blanket of numbness that always came with the after-sting of a really awful pun. 

Whoever it was, they clearly weren’t a threat. 

Getting back up to his feet, after sitting scrunched up in a closet was no easy feat, but cracking the door open Deceit felt the words on the tip of his tongue aptly evaporate into thin air as soon as his eyes traveled upwards to lock onto the face of the stranger standing before him. He was relatively well dressed, with a tan colored suit and a bright pastel tie to go along with it, and a nice pair of spectacles too. More importantly, the smile on his face spoke only of warmth, with no ill intent locked behind it. He seemed...nice, no lies hidden behind a facade. Just...nice. 

“You look like you could use a hand, in more ways than one.” It took a moment for Deceit to even realize that the hand that was extended for him was there in order to help him up to his feet, his brown and gold eyes locked onto the hand, as if expecting it to drag him up to his feet forcibly grabbing him. But it just stayed there, waiting for him to take it, if he chose to that was. 

He took the hand, letting it haul him up to his feet.

“Who  _ aren’t  _ you? I’ve never seen you around before...ever in fact.” Almost immediately he was on the defense and Deceit found himself suspiciously asking the bright pink pastel tie wearing side, and a smile was that he garnered in return as a hand reached down offering to help him back up. 

“My name is Emile Picani, but the short of it is...I am emotional intelligence.” The chipper voice and the positively radiant smile made Deceit grimace for a second, he was so happy, almost as happy as Patton constantly pretended to be. Even so, Deceit couldn’t help but to snort and roll his eyes at the name of the other side as he took the warm hand that helped him back up to his feet. 

He ignored the offered tissue glancing to the side as he roughly swiped away his tears with the pad of his thumb. “ _ Certainly _ let Logan hear you say that, to him, emotions have no place in intelligence.” He snorted again shaking his head, as Emile’s lips formed into a frowning pout, even if the other side said nothing for a moment. “What’s with your getup anyway? What are you a therapist?” 

“I usually don’t show up,” Emile gave a somewhat awkward chuckle as he scratched the back of his head, “Unless there is a time that I am called to be here, and yes, for the most part, I do happen to act as the other sides’ therapist. I show up when I am needed, or when there is a moment of high emotional distress from any of the others.” 

It shouldn’t have, it really shouldn’t have. But those words alone sent a bolt of worry right through Deceit’s heart. He felt it seize for a moment, as his heart leaped up into his throat. Spinning around his cloak flapped at the motion, but he paid it no mind as he took a single step towards Picani. He was sure that every emotion conceivable was written on his face, and he could have cared less for it. His lungs burned and his heart thudded in his chest, like a wild bird attempting to get out of its cage. There was only one thing that mattered right now, or rather just one person. The words clawed their way out of his throat.

“Virgil  _ isn’t- _ ”

A warm hand descended down onto Deceit’s shoulder, stopping his words dead in their tracks. 

“Easy does it Kaa, relax. I’ve already checked on Virgil, he’s doing fine.” Emile’s voice was calming as well as soothing to hear, and the hand on his shoulder felt almost like a grounding point for him. “My main concern...is you.” 

At this Deceit couldn’t help but to blink in surprise, him? Why would anyone let alone Emotional Intelligence of all people be concerned over someone like him? Everyone hated him, and when he said everyone he did truly mean everyone. It just didn’t make sense to him, why would someone as warm and patient as Emile come to help him. He was lies, he was every lie that Thomas had ever told, he was the villain, the bad guy, the one who people pointed to and accused when something went completely and dreadfully wrong. He was-

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t need to be Sir Hiss, so why don’t we come on back to my room. We can work out some issues, cause I’ve got the tissues.” 

_ What are we doing Patton? Letting Deceit see us this way, so many things could go wrong.  _ Logan argued as Emile lightly rested his hand on Deceit’s back, leading him to the new door at the end of the hall, where Emile’s entire therapist set up laid inside. Complete with two comfy couches sitting opposite to one another, surrounded by tons and tons cartoon-related items. Emile’s shoulders relaxed a little bit as soon as he set foot in the familiar setting. 

_ So many things could go right too! Look at him Lo, he was crying in a closet for Pete's sake. He clearly needs someone to talk to, and who better than us?  _ Patton argued back, and for a split second Picani’s pastel pink tie flickered momentarily between a beautiful pastel blue and the original pink that Deceit had first seen it as. Even so, Emile remained totally calm as he motioned for Deceit to sit down and to make himself comfortable. 

Needless to say, Deceit did not look that comfortable. As he stiffly sat down, his back hunched over somewhat as if he was attempting to make himself smaller than he actually was, even going so far as to hide his arms inside of his cloak as if that would help him vanish from Emile’s sight. 

_ Perhaps you are correct...he looks… _ Logan hesitated, regret clear in the mental projection of his voice.

_ Like Virgil, when we first showed our self to him. He was scared too, at first.  _ The gentleness of Patton’s voice let Logan know right away that he was forgiven, as Emile’s tie regained that bright pink color, this time with a few threads of blue interwoven into it.  _ Let’s do this Lo-berry. _

“Deceit,” Emile began making the side in question snap his attention back up from where his gaze had settled on his lap. The curious gaze that looked back at him made the hair on the back of his neck rise up, and Deceit couldn’t help but to look away. “What were you doing in that closet?”  

Almost immediately Deceit felt a flush of embarrassment dusting over his cheeks as he tugged his hat down a little bit, the pressure on the top of his head helped to relax him somewhat along with the feeling of his arms being covered by his cloak. So instead of answering right away, he gave a tiny shrug, it was better than the actual answer he’d have to tell this therapist side. 

It was better than the truth, at this point anything was. 

He couldn’t stand the patient stare, the look that said he had all the time in the world to tell his story and even then this Emotional Intelligence would still be there waiting for his answer. Deceit wasn’t even sure why it rubbed him the wrong way, it just did. Someone being so...nice to him, someone waiting on him and not getting angry when he took too long to answer...whatever kind of side that was. They clearly had something to hide from it all, people like that rarely did so with good intentions. 

Yet...there he sat, amongst all of his stuffed animals and cartoon collectibles, that open and caring expression on his face. What was with that smile?

“I  _ could  _ deal with it!” Emile blinked at the words that rushed out of Deceit’s mouth, and tilting his head to the side he didn’t have to wait too much longer before that confusion was cleared up as well. “ I  _ could  _ stand to be near the others today, Virgil  _ can’t  _ barely go a second without glaring at him, I’m  _ not  _ a disgusting monster in Roman’s eyes, Patton..” Emile’s gaze almost sharpened at the mention of the moral side, the side that made up a part of him. “Patton  _ isn’t  _ too nice to say it but...but he doesn’t want me around either. And I’m  _ certain  _ as to why Logan hasn’t said so either.” 

Once he started Deceit found it impossible to stop, it was like the rush of a waterfall, once it had been allowed to start, there was just no stopping his true feelings from coming out. Especially with someone who’s made it very clear they could help, even so, he couldn’t stop himself from scrubbing at the tears that were already welling up again in his eyes. 

“They..they..” Deceit hiccuped shivering as he did, “They all hate me so much.” He whispered, this time he ignored the itching of his scales as another one popped up on his cheek when he told the truth, this time he could have cared less as Emile leaned forward. Brandishing a box of tissues that he thankfully took from the other this time. 

“And what of the others?” Emile softly asked, and within seconds Deceit had stiffened, his muscles locking up, the only evidence of him even moving was his trembling fingers as he grasped the tissue box with both of his hands. 

“The...others?” 

“The dark sides, how do you think they feel about you? How have they treated these...emotional outbursts?” He elaborated, inside of him Logan felt the strings of pity tugging at his heart as the look of terror descended down over Deceit’s expression, even before the sarcastic laugh left the dishonest side making Deceit’s body jerk at the sound he released. 

“They...all hate me too.”


	2. Chapter 2

_ He thinks that we hate him, Logan!  _

Patton’s agonized cry rang around inside of Emile’s head, as the moral side fell into a mental pit of sadness, tucking his hands under his legs as soon as he felt them start to shake. Emile gave Deceit a pained smile.

_ I am well aware of that Patton, but you need to calm yourself before we un-fuse right here and now in front of him. Take a deep breath, we’re here to help, and help is what we shall do. Relax. _

Emile almost nodded his head in agreement with the words that Logan was telling Patton, but even so, he felt the emotional turmoil of Patton steadily ebb even as he felt his eyes starting to sting a little bit. The silence stretched thin between Deceit and Emile, and the dishonest side was absolutely sure that the so-called therapist of the mindscape was going to pronounce him a lost cause and just least him to cry his feelings out inside of another closet. 

“What has led you to feel this way about the light sides?” He asked, clearing his throat as it gave a little crack in between his words, “Surely the light sides are not as...malicious and cruel as the dark sides.” However, almost instantly Deceit was shaking his head, the dishonest side’s fingers clenched at the fabric of his pants and it took a moment for Deceit to gather himself together in order to say what he really needed to say.  

“That’s  _ isn’t  _ just it!” Deceit exclaimed, seeing Emile lean forward almost curiously as he remained sitting on his hands. “They  _ do  _ say things like the dark sides did, and they  _ do  _ treat me like they have in the past! But…” Deceit found himself fumbling for a moment, he’d never really thought that one day he’d be spilling everything to some guy he didn’t know. But now that he started, he found it almost impossible to stop. “I  _ don’t  _ know that they feel that way about me, I mean..I’m  _ not  _ a dark side. Of course, they hate me, I’m different. I’m a…”  _ Freak _ .

The word burned on Deceit’s tongue, just as he felt his scales burning on his face and the memories burning inside of his skull and the tears burning inside his eyes. His fanged teeth dug into his bottom lip as he hastily blinked, trying to clear away the tears that were soon to fall. A muffled whimper bubbled up out of him, and before he knew it Picani was reaching forward, another box of tissues in one hand, as his other rested gingerly on Deceit’s knee. 

“I’m  _ not  _ sorry, I shouldn’t be..I shouldn’t…” He blubbered for a moment as the warm tears trickled down his cheeks before he grabbed a handful of the tissues dabbing at his face in both an effort to clear away the tears, and to hide his disgusting face from Emile.

“Hey now,” Emile’s warm hand tenderly squeezed Deceit’s knee, “You’re a rockstar for trusting me to see you like this, crying over years of emotional distress isn’t bad..it’s healthy to let yourself have that reprieve. Bottling up emotions...can only get you so far, it’s by letting yourself feel and acknowledging them that you can grow and move on.”  Internally Logan went a little silent as Patton took the reins, for the time being, it felt almost as if Patton wasn’t just talking to Deceit, but him as well.

The shoulders of the dishonest side shook even harder as he cried out into his bundles of tissues. The hat slipped from his head, revealing the waves of curls as he just continued to cry and cry like there was no tomorrow. All while it was happening Emile remained there, his hand on Deceit’s knee and the tissue box extended for whenever Deceit needed another tissue. 

It took a long time, far too long in Deceit’s eyes, before he stopped crying so much. Giving the occasional sniffle he jerkily nodded his head, he was better now. 

“I..I’m  _ not  _ sorry, no one has ever told me that before.” He hoarsely whispered, grasping the bundle of wet tissues tightly in his fist, but even so, Emile merely rewarded him with a warm sweet smile as his brown eyes looked into the other side’s eyes. It was then that he got the notion that this wasn’t the first time that Emile had dealt with a side who’d spent most of his time sobbing his eyes out in front of him. He was used to it, but even so, he knew how to deal with it.

“Deceit,” Emile softly began as he leaned back into his sofa, “Do you think that you might be having a cognitive distortion when it comes to the light sides? So far you’ve made assumptions about them, but...have you asked them? Have you truly talked to them, and got their opinion on you?” He asked, and already Emile knew the answer to that as Deceit shook his head, the dishonest side had always skirted around both Logan and Patton. It was pretty obvious too, that he did the same thing in regards to Roman and Virgil.

“I…” Deceit looked down before giving a tense shake of his head, “I  _ can _ ...I just...how on earth would I do it? They certainly  _ don’t  _ think that I’m a monster, approaching them..let alone talking to them would be  _ doable _ ! I don’t know how to get close to people!” He blurted out, the mixture of truth and facts confusing Emile for a second as he took in Deceit’s absolutely startled appearance as he leaned forward in his seat. The dishonest side’s fingers were clenching the fabric of his cloak, twisting and untwisting it again and again. 

He was a mess.

There was a period of silence that seemingly stretched on and on, but it was soon interrupted as soon as a new light burned brightly in Emile’s eyes. Looking like something akin to hope. “There are other ways to get close to someone.” He blurted out, an eager little grin on his face that seemed to confuse Deceit even more. “It’s as easy as a song and dance!” 

As soon as Emile bounded up to his feet there was a fight within in his head, as well as with Deceit.

“But I don’t dance!” 

_ Logan are we sure that we want him to know?! He might not be ready and.. _

_ And what Patton? He has expressed a somewhat willingness to get to know us, and with this perhaps he can truly see that we..or at least the two of us don’t hate him as much as he thinks that we do. He deserves for someone to take a chance on him.  _

The pause from Patton went on longer than Logan would have liked, but even so, he knew that overall his words had won the moral side over.  _ Alright...I trust you _ . The mental whisper from Patton allowed Logan to relax, he didn’t like to admit it, but Patton’s acceptance would have been the only reason he proceeded. 

With a deep inhale resonating within Emile’s head, and as he exhaled Deceit watched in a mixture of horror and awe as a pastel purple separated itself into blue and pink. 

Before him stood both Patton and Logan in the flesh. 


End file.
